Admit it…trusting is not easy! However, effective mentoring requires appropriate trusting. What I mean by appropriate relates to when the time is right and when the task is fitting. Entrusting prematurely or with something that cannot yet be managed is not good mentoring. Mentoring is not, “Here you do it.” It is not premature or misappropriating.
I have learned that a mentor who believes in you trusts you when he’s not around. Do you know the benefit of that? Those being mentored become more responsible. They have to! Or, perhaps you have always been given a short leash. Did you feel trusted? Did it lead to responsibility? What about your mentoring? Do you micromanage or micro-monitor? If so, be careful. Such scrutiny can backfire so quickly; and, the road back is very long indeed.
The mentors we admire are not controlling people. They trust you when they’re not around. They give you an assignment and they rely on you to follow through. They’re not peeking in your window. They trust you.
How does being trusted make you feel? You probably find that even when your leader is not there—because they’ve trusted you—you really want to step up. It makes you feel responsible. The flip side of being trusted is proving yourself to be trustworthy. It’s a wonderful feeling when trust leads to trustworthiness. This is also true in the relationship between teacher and student.
Do you trust those you mentor? If so, do they know you believe in them? Have you told them so? Go there.
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