When you are one who aspires to be a leader, you must constantly ask yourself one central question: Why would anyone choose to follow me?

courtesy: www.chainleader.com

Rosa posed this question in a recent article entitled Should We Follow You? It’s a great question for teachers to ask as well. Students become like their teachers in many ways. In fact, I have noticed that many behavior problems are reflections of what teachers do (not that teachers are to be blamed for every discipline problem). Attend a teachers’ conference and watch.

I have noticed that teachers tend to stray off task really easily, like their children. I have watched teachers thumb through conference brochures, text others, talk to others, come in late…during a keynote presentation. I have seen them skip sessions and go shopping instead. Of course, I have seen others who are totally engaged and excited about their learning and all that is going on during the conference.

So, I have drawn a conclusion, that might be unfair in a way, I admit. When students do what they do, they might simply be reflecting their leaders. As an administrator, I observed the modeling our teachers and staff were projecting to our students. There were some great examples. I remember a radical turn around in our cafeteria. For several years, students were constantly reminded to clean their tables, put trash away, talk more softly, etc. When a change in leadership came, and higher expectations were set, reminders were rarely needed.

Bottom line, we underestimate the power of a good influence. Students learn to follow by our example of followship and lead by our example of leadership. Follow me…as I follow… Back to Rosa’s question: as a leader of children, why would they choose to follow you?

From the album: "November 09" by Hannah Svebakken

A little reminder…teaching students is a step-by-step process. Days will come when we stumble, fall down, but other days will be filled with the freedom of an unhindered walk! Enjoy each day, each step. After all, teaching with aloha is about process more than product!

Aloha is also a word of parting. In our well-ordered structures, we plan our year and know when things are going to happen. It’s the nature of being a teacher. However, life does not always fit into our plans. Today, several teachers’ plans radically and permanently changed.

Courtesy: Rosa Say

Across the street from my office is our local high school. Today, after a break-up with his girlfriend, one of the football team members went home and took his life. Needless to say, it has been a difficult day for staff, counselors, students and parents.

Having led a school through a traumatic event, I learned that compassionately, patiently moving ahead with prepared plans often stabilizes a situation. Even though some students went home to grieve, most stayed and continued through their class schedules.

I realize this is an awkward posting, but Teaching with Aloha must consider these times, too. Hopefully, you will never have to face them. However, it is likely you will someday. Accidents and illness and the unexpected affect all ages. Here are some guidelines if such times come your way:

• Live every day fully! Celebrate each student for who she or he is, not just what is accomplished.
• Learn to flex your plan when necessary. I love watching palm trees in the wind. Anchored to the ground but resilient because they know how to flex and bend when the gales come.
• Pre-think how you would handle an unexpected crisis. Perhaps you should set aside some books that focus on situations that could happen.
• Maintain close communication with your parents and colleagues; because of your authentic character, you might be the one they come to for help.

You can think of more, I’m sure. Teaching with Aloha has come to mean something a little deeper today. It’s also teaching with a “good-by” in mind.

Everything around us works against reordering and simplifying. Advertisements have one goal – to make us discontent, dissatisfied with who we are and what we have. Enough is never enough! This attitude can creep into our teaching and to students through their teachers.

Life’s Greatest Stresses (1990′s)

1. Crowds
2. Noise
3. Pace of Life

According to Time Magazine, these were the top three stressors in the 1990′s. When the article was written, my family and I lived in Asia, the center of these stressors! As the culture, so the classroom. It was exciting, fast paced – yes. But, there was an unhealthy side as well. Students did not really have time to learn nor did teachers have enough time to teach. Curriculum demands increased, so the pace did as well. Looking back I can see many opportunities I missed because I had not decided to reorder the classroom by simplifying.

Today, about 5% to 7% of adults in the U.S. are pursuing some form of voluntary simplicity, according to Gerald Celente, director of the Trends Research Institute in New York. Of course, this means that 95-97% are not doing anything about simplifying. So, what do people do to deal with stress?

• 82 percent, turn on the television, listen to music or read.
• Family and friends serve as a solid support for 71 percent of those polled.
• Prayer or meditation is a recourse for 62 percent
• Exercise sustains 55 percent

I have witnessed a growing stress among students, elementary and secondary, teachers and administrators. This concern has made me consider why reordering through simplifying is so difficult. Two possibilities are:

• Busyness: we are very unsettled if we are not busy. Stillness, reflection, quiet times, are luxuries in many of today’s classrooms.
• Comparing: consuming focus is others and ourselves. We are easily influenced by how others are doing or how we are lagging behind.

Having taken steps to simplify…

I realize it is a difficult journey, indeed. However, I have learned at least two lessons:

• No one complicates my life but me.
• Busyness might be nothing more than an anesthetic for an empty life.

Having said all this, I challenge you to review your routines. Do they flow, integrate, inspire, refresh and engage your students? Review your lesson plans – are they simple or complicated? Invite a colleague to observe how you give directions. Do you confuse or clarify?

What is at stake?

If a classroom is a stressful, fast-paced environment, which has no let-up or relief, I believe there will be a negative impact on the teacher and students. Being threatened are:

• Restful, renewing learning environment
• Ability to reflect and give thoughtful attention to work

Perhaps we will need to focus on this again. But, for now, take sufficient time to:

• reflect on your personal life
• evaluate your professional life
• evaluate your routines

I can hear some saying, “I don’t have time for this!” Hmm…point made!

Courtesy: Rosa Say

It has come to my mind today that teaching students is all about love. Granted, it is not always easy to love students or parents or colleagues. But, if you desire for your teaching to be transformational, it must be grounded on love.

Six simple observations about love…

1. Love is not easy or convenient. In fact, when a student is most difficult or a parent is caustic, love is needed then more than other times. And, more than that, it is likely that such love will be needed at an inconvenient time.
2. Love is costly. I don’t mean having a treasure chest of toys and trinkets to give to children who earn them. I am thinking of a love that might humble you. It might mean reaching down and caring for a child who has old, dirty clothes. It might mean crossing a cultural barrier to visit parents.
3. Love rises from the heart. This is the only real love – that which is from the heart. You will probably find that your desire to love your students is greater than your ability to show it. This is wonderful! A heart-based love is not cautious but remains wise.
4. Love initiates. It does not wait for love to come from another. When love is withheld, it might mean that a child does not know how to love. It’s amazing what children face today! Don’t wait for them to love you – initiate love. And, when they love you, reciprocate it. Either way, love is active!
5. Love is sacrificial. Not easy, inconvenient, costly…all these point to the sacrificial nature of true love. An aloha heart is a sacrificial heart!
6. Love is life giving. True loves gives from within and inspires those who receive it. Give your life and you will find that what you receive is a deeper and broader love for others.

Do your students know you love them?

Do your parents know you love them?

Do your colleagues know you love them?

Ours is a world that demands immediate gratification. From instant downloads to instant mashed potatoes, we want whatwe want when we want it . . . and that’s usually NOW! A mentor isn’t like that. He can’t be like that! He takes the long view toward those he mentors.

What does that look like in everyday terms? A mentor hangs in there. He has staying power.  He isn’t restless.  He doesn’t run.  He isn’t a fair-weathered friend.  He doesn’t give up when there’s criticism. That takes immense maturity in relationships with others. He strives to be patient with everyone and that’s no easy task.

Why is patience required? Because mentoring is a process because learning is a process. Who of us has not wished he could learn something more quickly? Often, real progress is a little at a time, step by step. And, sometimes, it is five steps forward, two backwards. The mentor that takes the long view realizes that what he has mastered may be extremely difficult for others. What is natural for others might not be for you. The important thing is that steady progress is being made and the process of learning is being enjoyed.

Taking the long view applies, regardless of the situation. That means a faculty member doesn’t step down because there’s difficulty in the school. A husband or wife doesn’t walk out because it gets rough. Does that mean that we never walk away? Not at all. But most of the time we head for the exit far too quickly.

As a mentor, you stick it out. You take the long view.

You might be facing a tough time right now. If you are, believe me, I understand. Schools can be brutal to its teachers. Everywhere I have been, I have encountered unexpected difficulties; and the reason I didn’t run? The memory of my mentors.  They didn’t run either. Perhaps the greatest benefit that comes to those being mentored is that they cultivate perseverance. They too learn to take the long view.

Courtesy: Rosa Say

I suppose this is one of the reasons I enjoy plants; each day they grow a little more. Petals struggle to open, ferns patiently unfurl. They remind me to be patient with growth, both in myself and in others.

The 2009 college football season is underway. The kickoff to the season took 5 days and nights! There were surprises, shocking plays, disappointments, rising and falling in polls – an exciting beginning. As there were major distinctives to each game, I noticed something missing. In not one game did a coach put on a jersey and put himself in the game.

Effective teaching is increasingly being identified as engaging students to learn through interactive research. This positions the teacher as a coach, mentor, cheerleader instead of the one who does the work and distributes it in a student-passive format. In fact, one of the significant challenges of 21st Century learning will be teacher training. Teaching yesterday is not like teaching today. It’s time for teachers to step off the field and take on the roles of coaching and mentoring.

Transition times can be extremely challenging. In fact, I have seen a known negative being embraced more than an unknown positive. Transitions lead to unknowns. One of the things that helps during these unsettling times is having a constant that is not changing. To me, this is the heart of the teacher.

Teaching is a work of art as well as heart! A heart that approaches education as teaching students rather than teaching subjects is the key. Teaching with Aloha puts the students in the middle and structures the education around them.

Attitude during teaching is also key. Students respond to a teacher who ”goes for it” on 4th down instead of punting the ball away. They love teachers who are high-energy and pleasant in character and promote enthusiasm, believing that something good’s just about to happen.

So, I encourage you to step off the field of play. Set the stage for students to thrive. Teach them how. Excite them to try. Support them when they fail. My guess is, if you seriously take on a coach’s role, your students and you will have a winning season!

Who of us doesn’t need encouragement? Something dies a little at a time when encouragement is needed but withheld. But, mentoring is more than encouragement. Webster defines a mentor as, “A trusted counselor or guide; a tutor, a coach.” A mentor loves, confronts, points out blind spots. In short, a mentor builds lives. Sometimes, mentors don’t come to you – you have to look for them. Here is some guidance to consider.

A mentor is trusted…don’t quickly select mentors. If you have some in mind, watch them for awhile. Are they consistent, steady, dependable and confidential? Can they be depended upon? Will they build you up or wear you down? As a mentor, be trustworthy at all times. Be wise with your words and actions. Live with high ideals and expectations. Step to the highest level. Treat others with dignity and respect. Think the best of them. Avoid critical judgments. After all, we never know everything about anything ever!

A mentor is a counselor and guide…listen to the counsel they provide in meetings or in the teachers’ lounge. Are they wise? Are they discerning? Do you consider their counsel and guidance based upon sound principles? As a mentor, be quick to hear and slow to speak. Learn to ask questions and guide others through the process of self-assessment. A good mentor is not one who has all the answers but must be a person who knows how to ask good questions.

A mentor is a tutor and coach…what do they know? What skills are their strengths? Are they matched to your needs? Do you feel motivated when you are around them? Are you willing to take their direction and confrontation? In other words, do you respect them enough to allow them to point out your blind spots? This assumes you must be willing to be mentored and coached.

A mentor builds lives! This is the bottom line. Mentoring is building up lives! Who of us does not need this person in our lives? Are you ready to be that person for someone else? If not, what’s holding you back?

I’ve discovered when individuals are gifted and young, the most common tendency is to fall into arrogance, and sometimes, raw conceit.  Almost without exception when I detect conceit in an individual, I say to myself, They haven’t been mentored. I have never met a self-important individual who has been mentored. Truth be told, arrogance doesn’t survive mentoring. A mentor will point out blind-spots and will reprove you appropriately when you need to be confronted about your pride.

As a result of being mentored, you learn the value of being vulnerable, open, unguarded, honest, and ideally, a person of authenticity.

I welcome them. Why? Because I need them.

So do you.

Courtesy: Rosa Say

Rosa Say recently posted An Idea is a Fragile Thing. This simple poem immediately made me think of the classroom where ideas abound. Here’s the poem:

“An idea is a fragile thing.

Turning it off is much easier than keeping it lit.

Ideas shine because somebody had them

and somebody helped them

and nobody turned them off.”

—Tom Peters, A Passion for Excellence

fragile

easily destroyed, vulnerable, delicate.

Ideas and the children who have them are delicate. Regardless of the age, the vulnerability never ceases. Even adults can be vulnerable and hesitant to share ideas. The teacher must create a safe environment where ideas can flourish. Life lessons are best learned when a wise teacher allows students to follow their ideas to the end, even if they fail.

How true and how tragic. Turning off ideas stops learning that is engaging leaving dry, dusty facts. If children are not allowed the freedom to follow their ideas in the classroom, in a safe environment, where will they follow them OR will their ideas and dreams just die? Oh, for teachers who fan into flame the ideas of their students. Oh, for teacher who leave the wonder in the learning!

Ideas shine where there is adequate help and passionate encouragement that keeps ideas lit. Everything exists because of this pattern:

a person

a person has an idea

a person designs a plan

a person builds the plan

It all starts with a person who has an idea! May we never forget that the fragility of an idea is directly related to the fragility of the person. Nurturing ideas in the classroom is nurturing the students who have them.

Children are great teachers! When it comes to communication, they really shine! It is so interesting to note that when one searches for communication and children most of the results point to how to help children communicate or how to communicate to children. Perhaps it would be most ideal if we took some lessons from them!

Growing up, I remember watching Art Linkletter’s House Party or House Party in the 50s and 60s. One of the most popular segments was “Kids Say the Darndest Things” in which Linkletter interviewed schoolchildren between the ages of five and ten. If you are too young to remember this program or if you want some fond memories, click on this link and enjoy!

I know you loved that. In fact, you might want to hear more from the children. That, in itself, is an testimony to the communication skills of children!

Watching the children in this segment teaches me the following lessons about communication. Rather than write a long post, I am going to leave some unanswered questions so you can respond and share your wisdom.

Be innocent! This is easier said than done (perhaps that is another lesson). Adults lose that childlike innocence, which is a natural part of growing up. We become self-centered, fearful of criticism, of being misinterpreted or misunderstood…. In some ways, perhaps, we should return to a childlike innocence in our speech.

How can teachers preserve or regain their innocence in communication?

Be truthful! As teachers we try so hard to avoid offense. So, we color the truth just enough. I remember a situation in which I was a guest speaker. A musical group, singing before my speech, were finishing their rehearsal when I arrived. Honestly, they were terrible! As fate would have it, one of them walked up to me to ask if I enjoyed their music. I responded, “Well, I can honestly say that I have never heard that arrangement sung like you just sang.” It was true (deceitfully).

How can adults be truthful while being tactful?

Be simple! C. S. Lewis gave the following advice to children about writing (works for communication in general, too):

1. Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn’t mean anything else.
2. Always prefer the clean direct word to the long, vague one. Don’t implement promises, but keep them.
3. Never use abstract nouns when concrete ones will do. If you mean “More people died” don’t say “Mortality rose.”
4. In writing, don’t use adjectives which merely tell us how you want us to feel about the things you are describing. I mean, instead of telling us the thing is “terrible,” describe it so that we’ll be terrified. Don’t say it was “delightful”; make us say “delightful” when we’ve read the description. You see, all those words (horrifying, wonderful, hideous, exquisite) are only like saying to your readers “Please, will you do my job for me.”
5. Don’t use words too big for the subject. Don’t say “infinitely” when you mean “very”; otherwise you’ll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.

Why is it so challenging to write simply?

Smile! Very few of us can compete with a child’s smile. What a communication strength! With that said, who does not want to listen to a winsome communicator? May smiles be forever on our faces, in our eyes and through our words!

Your turn! I’ve shared four observations and three questions. As you watched the program, what did you observe? Feel free to use the comment section to respond as you desire.