Aloha is also a word of parting. In our well-ordered structures, we plan our year and know when things are going to happen. It’s the nature of being a teacher. However, life does not always fit into our plans. Today, several teachers’ plans radically and permanently changed.

Courtesy: Rosa Say

Across the street from my office is our local high school. Today, after a break-up with his girlfriend, one of the football team members went home and took his life. Needless to say, it has been a difficult day for staff, counselors, students and parents.

Having led a school through a traumatic event, I learned that compassionately, patiently moving ahead with prepared plans often stabilizes a situation. Even though some students went home to grieve, most stayed and continued through their class schedules.

I realize this is an awkward posting, but Teaching with Aloha must consider these times, too. Hopefully, you will never have to face them. However, it is likely you will someday. Accidents and illness and the unexpected affect all ages. Here are some guidelines if such times come your way:

• Live every day fully! Celebrate each student for who she or he is, not just what is accomplished.
• Learn to flex your plan when necessary. I love watching palm trees in the wind. Anchored to the ground but resilient because they know how to flex and bend when the gales come.
• Pre-think how you would handle an unexpected crisis. Perhaps you should set aside some books that focus on situations that could happen.
• Maintain close communication with your parents and colleagues; because of your authentic character, you might be the one they come to for help.

You can think of more, I’m sure. Teaching with Aloha has come to mean something a little deeper today. It’s also teaching with a “good-by” in mind.

Aloha relationships promote openness, a “wise transparency”. They require attitudes of humility that invite others into our “incompleteness”. I am not saying that we completely expose ourselves; wise limits are needed. What I am saying is that we must create appropriate doorways and windows for people to enter our lives.

Students have an uncanny intuition regarding whether we are being real or not. Aloha teaching communicates an attitude of continuing wonder (because none of us knows everything about anything…ever!). It encourages risk taking, even when the outcome is unknown.

I recall a high school creative writing class taught by a wonderful drama teacher, Dr. Milton J. McMenamin. He energized his writing classes with the joy of anticipation and “Hmm…I wonder…”

He assigned our class the challenging task of writing a play. We were to work in groups, differentiated by interest and ability. He shared with us that he had never done this with another class and was uncertain if it would work. We worked on a monster comedy musical for weeks and weeks. The assignment failed miserably but we learned so much! We were drawn to him and his classroom for lunchtime because of his Aloha attitude of openness, honesty, trust, dignity and respect shown toward us. He impacted us greatly because he opened his life and, with a gleam in his eye, enticed us to enter. How wide will you open your life? How do you plan to communicate trust, dignity and respect to your students, parents and colleagues?

Rosa writes, “Every single day, somewhere in the world, Aloha comes to life. As it lives and breathes within us, it defines the epitome of sincere, gracious, and intuitively perfect customer service given from one person to another.” Does this not describe what we really want for our parents and colleagues?

“…Aloha comes to life… it lives and breathes within us …” The Aloha spirit is living and active; allow it to develop into a deeper quality. As you do, you will see it navigate its way around circumstances as water flows around riverbed rocks. It will soften the hardest of situations.

“…sincere, gracious and intuitively perfect…service” in contrast to that which is hypocritical, harsh or forced out of obligation. Aloha initiates service whether or not it is received or reciprocated. With this in mind, how will you welcome your parents and colleagues? How will you create a culture of invitation and hospitality? How will you express your Aloha? I have four suggestions:

Offer your help to your colleagues. Realizing you have just as much to do as they, this will take some sacrificial planning but the rewards are huge! You might want to target a new teacher who is filled with questions or trying to find some equipment that is not already assigned.Invite your parents to a get-acquainted dessert. Even if a few parents come, you will have taken your first step toward building bridges.

Include others into your world. As much as you might want to do things yourself, open your classroom to receiving help. Some parents might come…another bridge!

Call your parents to introduce yourself and tell them how glad you are to have their child in your class this year.

You will think of many creative opportunities, I’m sure. Let your Aloha run free. You will never know what such service will do.

Take 5 minutes each day to connect with your students. This disciplined approach helps you understand your students and how to best serve them.

Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages of Children presents how children speak their love language (I have taken the editorial liberty of changing “child” to “student”). He suggests:

Observe how your students express love to others. Listen “between the lines” to what your students request most often.

Listen to your students’ most frequent complaints. When you stop to consider their whining and grumbling, the results may surprise you. Their complaints may fall into a category corresponding with one of the love languages.

Give your students choices.

There is no question that teaching students is a sacrificial act of service; but, when that service is expressed from the heart that is bathed with Aloha, it reaffirms, liberates, empowers and energizes. Who would have thought acts of service could be so transforming?

“Everyone has Aloha; we help you bring it to fuller expression within whatever you do.”
–The 9 Key Concepts of Managing with Aloha

The “we” I refer to in that sentence is my team at Say Leadership Coaching.
It could very easily refer to you, and your team of teachers, or your team of learners.

To have it be true, you simply have to believe in Aloha possibility.

4 minutes and 46 seconds.

Will you give that much to help you believe in the power of Aloha?

[Reading in RSS? Click here to see this video on You Tube if it is not displaying properly for you.]

A simple definition: Aloha is living from the inside out.

Your ‘ha’ is the breath of your life.
Your ‘alo’ is your outer demeanor – the ‘face’ you show to the world which gives your ‘ha’ its physical presence.

Believing that the Aloha Spirit is alive and well in every human being, is believing in that person’s greatest possibility. It is believing that they can achieve whatever they want to achieve, and it is believing that their desire to achieve it makes whatever “it” may be, gloriously good and right – as good and right as the breath of life within them.

What a gift, to look forward to a new school year knowing that you believe in the incredible, dream-fulfilling power of the Aloha Spirit within someone.

Do me a favor, would you?

Don’t keep your belief in them sequestered away inside of you: Tell them, and tell them often.

I am sure you have encountered construction sites and situations where you detoured from your planned route or creatively negotiated through a potholed area. I wish it were not so, but regardless of how you anticipate this new year to be, it will be one big construction site with stressful switchbacks, inconvenient detours, unexpected delays and bone-jarring bumps.

Into this “site” the teacher and leader enter. Rosa says, “Smoothing the bumps along the way is the servant leadership we give each other.” Your students, parents and colleagues are on their own journeys that are much like your own. What is your “Aloha strategy” for these times? How do you intend to serve with bump-smoothing love? You see, even though your journey is difficult or unexpected, a heart of Aloha keeps others in sight and finds ways to serve them.

For actions to be sincere they must come from within the heart. Being always precedes doing; so, being a servant in heart precedes serving. And, serving your students precedes your students serving you.

A story that has circulated for over thirty years and appeared in a variety of books and articles illustrates the focus of becoming a person of Aloha.

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at Stanford Hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liza who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her five-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes, I’ll do it if it will save Liza.”

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away?”

Being young, the boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give her all his blood.

Aloha love prepares the heart to give what is required and willingly embraces all that is offered in return.

Aloha builds bridges not walls. Each act of kindness is a stone for that pathway. Someday, a student, parent or colleague might walk “across” the stones you are carefully laying each and every day. They might find their lives changed forever because of your unconditional love and inclusive acceptance. In fact, could it be that without your bridge of love a person might not be able to progress in their lives?

To build a wall, one stands. To lay a pathway, one must be on his knees. Only through humility can a bridge be built. Being vulnerable with your love is dangerous, though. C. S. Lewis said,

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable…”

Aloha love knows what it is to have a heart wrung and broken but knows nothing about a heart that is unbreakable or impenetrable.

What does Aloha mean?

Aloha is a value, one of unconditional love and inclusive acceptance. Aloha is the outpouring and receiving of the spirit.

Think of aloha as living from the inside out. The last 2 letters: ha, the breath of your life. You capture the very essence of who you are – no one in the world is like you! When you “catch your breath” you capture the authentic, true, real and genuine you. The first 3 letters: alo, your demeanor, the stage presence you put forth for everyone to see. All 5 letters: aloha. Does your outside match your inside? Is your demeanor a reflection of the positive good inside you, and have you captured all your born-in talents? Are you sincerely living and teaching from the inside out?

Aloha is core to all that you are and all you do. It is central to your character because it promotes an attitude that is positive, inclusive and healthy. It is critical to your teaching because it promotes honesty, integrity, trust and dignity. Without Aloha, the other values have no foundation. How can a teacher motivate excellence apart from honesty? How can a teacher foster an atmosphere of gratitude apart from a positive attitude? So, our journey begins with a heart of unconditional love.

The spirit within ~ Rosa Say

Aloha builds bridges not walls. Each act of kindness is a stone for that pathway. Someday, that student, parent and colleague might walk “across” the stones you are carefully laying each and every day. They might find their lives changed forever because of your unconditional love and inclusive acceptance.

Is there a danger in all this? Oh yes! C. S. Lewis said,

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable…”

The first choice is yours. In fact, until you decide to live Aloha through your life, you cannot expect to successfully master anything that is to come. Step one – commit yourself to love and from that love, teach!

To encourage you to take that first step, I have some questions to ask you.

Question #1: Who are you willing to be and become in front of your students and staff?

Question #2: Using wise transparency, how willing are you to pour out your true self while embracing the true selves of others?

Question #3: How willing are you to offer your heart knowing that it will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken?

You might be asking, “Are there no easier alternatives?” Compassion is always the right yet most difficult road to travel for it requires everything you have to offer. It means to lovingly suffer alongside. Is this not a deeper definition of “Aloha”? Is your heart ready to be presented?

Courtesy: Rosa Say

Rosa Say wrote this on her Talking Story website. As we come to the end of the reflective time and jump into the new school year, I believe her words speak loudly to teachers. As you read this, connect her thoughts to your world of teaching:

This time my thoughts meshed with those of how we strive to manage with aloha throughout our working lives so that we will reach the point of making some kind of meaning of our life, leaving some sort of legacy behind to mark the time we are on this earth. Sometimes we allow the question to nag at us and haunt us, and other times we slowly will begin to understand that things we consider small successes—like sending your children off to their own adulthood, or mentoring those we manage on a particularly vexing problem—are really the big ones we were supposed to achieve; the ones that matter most. These are the ones which also serve us as the catalysts for our larger potential, giving us the confidence, willingness, and pure energy to do more.

As human beings we are special, and often we have to remind ourselves that we are. We are capable of achieving more than any other species known. I coach my clients to write their goals with a four-fold view of their capacity—intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and physical—can you imagine any other mammal doing so?

So I share this personal writing with you to urge you: Look for the meaning in every small thing you do, every marker in your life which is actually a chapter for your own big book of life’s true meaning. Draw your strength and your inspiration from your ‘ohana (your family) and your love for them. When you share your aloha with others, feel good about the impact you are having, no matter how small it may seem at the time. You’ve no doubt heard this phrase before, however seek to understand it for your own time on this earth: Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And as said in Managing with Aloha, about the Hawaiian value of hope and promise;

Ka lā hiki ola. It is the dawning of a new day.
Make it the best day ever.