Found this posting over at the Leading Blog, a gem written by Michael McKinney (spend some time there one weekend morning with your coffee, he will get you to think about several teaching / leading connections): He begins:

Education Makes a Difference in How We Treat Each Other

Much of what we do everyday involves some kind of teaching—conveying information to others. We can be enlightened by the discussions from the educational arena on what it means to teach and how people learn. Teaching done right is really a labor of love. It’s having a mind oriented toward the future; seeing a bigger picture beyond what is actually being taught in the present.

Do click over and read the rest. Another quick quote:

“… the faculty at the Laboratory Schools are carefully chosen not just for their expertise but “because of their character and because they believe that education can make a difference in how human beings treat each other.”

This is the first Christmas my children are no longer in school, for they both graduated from college this past May, at the conclusion of the Spring Semester.

It has given me this curiosity about what they will give me this Christmas, and not because I need any gift in particular, but because I know that there is no longer a teacher who will influence their choices. They are on their own now. What have they learned about gift-giving?

Throughout their in-school years, my children had quite a healthy share of teachers who had made a very big deal about the Christmas holidays.

It started in kindergarten with those simple crayon drawings that were their handmade Christmas cards elevated to the status of “Do not open until Christmas” gifts, carefully wrapped origami-style in gold-flecked tissue paper, and tucked into the branches of the tree.

Another year it was a “real ornament” that finally explained the mystery of their wanting me to buy popsicles and not ice cream all of November, without a single popsicle stick ever ending up in the trash can.

In middle school it was that amazing coupon book of chores they would willingly do extra, and without a single complaint if I were to just tear off their coupon and redeem it in the weeks to follow. Does any mother truly redeem those things, or do we all universally just treasure it in pristine condition, having the gift be our awe of what you – magician miracle worker teacher that you are – were able to put in that writing of ungrumpy willingness?

I expected the gifts to end with high school, yet they didn’t! Then surely college professors would not stoop to this elementary school practice, would they?

Then lo and behold, my children conspired the first year they were both away in college, sending me and their dad an early Christmas letter which included what they no longer expected us to do for them now that they were young adults and on their own. While our gift from them was this new  “you don’t have to” freedom and release from our parental Christmas duties, they also assured us that they had learned well —from us. They knew of our family traditions, and more than respecting them, they loved them too. They promised they would continue them in their own new homes.

Blew me away. Surely we had not done that great a job in our parenting. And we didn’t… one of their college professors suggested the letter, asking them to understand how tough empty-nesting can be on parents during the holidays.

Teacher, thou art a Santa Elf of the highest calling. You know that, right?

In a recent article entitled Tacit Approval: Don’t you dare give it! Rosa wrote the following (I have taken the liberty to edit into a classroom setting):

Tacit approval happens when:

a) a student does something wrong
b) you become aware of it
c) that student and/or others within your classroom are aware of both a) and b)
d) you do nothing about it and let it slide

As a result, you have given tacit approval for that wrong which was committed. Your silent message to everyone else can be interpreted in several different ways, and none of them are good.

Ouch, that hurt! Why? Because every teacher has faced this situation. Consistency and fairness is critical in any classroom. Review Rosa’s article carefully and see what tacit approval communicates.

With that said, there are individual differences that should be considered when discipline is needed. I was a shy child in school and very compliant. The greatest motivation was the fears of embarrassment and punishment. All I needed was a look or gentle reminder; correction was immediate. However, there were others who seemed to need more severe intervention. As a student I was not concerned with how others were treated, just me. But, I quickly noticed if a teacher let something slide.

So the challenge for the teacher is to be consistent and fair with the rules of the classroom (they apply to all) while understanding how to guide and correct each student (which applies to individuals). Being consistent with the punishment is not always the best way to approach a problem. The goal of all correction is a disciple. The words disciple and discipline come from the same root word.

Some encouragements:

• look for the best in each student
• establish rules that are easy to remember and easy to apply. Build them around “do” not “don’t”. For example, instead of “Don’t talk when your neighbor is talking” use “Carefully listen to your neighbor when s/he is speaking.”
• be wise and fair with your consequences;  applying the same discipline might not be enough for some and crushing for others. To guard against this, build into your system a blend of strategies. A warning might be all that is needed for some students but not nearly enough for others. Start with a warning and then move to a more serious consequence.
• know each student well enough to know how to effectively discipline him/her
• reassure each disciplined student that s/he is loved and appreciated

Above all, in Rosa’s words, don’t you dare give tacit approval.

When you are one who aspires to be a leader, you must constantly ask yourself one central question: Why would anyone choose to follow me?

courtesy: www.chainleader.com

Rosa posed this question in a recent article entitled Should We Follow You? It’s a great question for teachers to ask as well. Students become like their teachers in many ways. In fact, I have noticed that many behavior problems are reflections of what teachers do (not that teachers are to be blamed for every discipline problem). Attend a teachers’ conference and watch.

I have noticed that teachers tend to stray off task really easily, like their children. I have watched teachers thumb through conference brochures, text others, talk to others, come in late…during a keynote presentation. I have seen them skip sessions and go shopping instead. Of course, I have seen others who are totally engaged and excited about their learning and all that is going on during the conference.

So, I have drawn a conclusion, that might be unfair in a way, I admit. When students do what they do, they might simply be reflecting their leaders. As an administrator, I observed the modeling our teachers and staff were projecting to our students. There were some great examples. I remember a radical turn around in our cafeteria. For several years, students were constantly reminded to clean their tables, put trash away, talk more softly, etc. When a change in leadership came, and higher expectations were set, reminders were rarely needed.

Bottom line, we underestimate the power of a good influence. Students learn to follow by our example of followship and lead by our example of leadership. Follow me…as I follow… Back to Rosa’s question: as a leader of children, why would they choose to follow you?

From the album: "November 09" by Hannah Svebakken

A little reminder…teaching students is a step-by-step process. Days will come when we stumble, fall down, but other days will be filled with the freedom of an unhindered walk! Enjoy each day, each step. After all, teaching with aloha is about process more than product!

Aloha is also a word of parting. In our well-ordered structures, we plan our year and know when things are going to happen. It’s the nature of being a teacher. However, life does not always fit into our plans. Today, several teachers’ plans radically and permanently changed.

Courtesy: Rosa Say

Across the street from my office is our local high school. Today, after a break-up with his girlfriend, one of the football team members went home and took his life. Needless to say, it has been a difficult day for staff, counselors, students and parents.

Having led a school through a traumatic event, I learned that compassionately, patiently moving ahead with prepared plans often stabilizes a situation. Even though some students went home to grieve, most stayed and continued through their class schedules.

I realize this is an awkward posting, but Teaching with Aloha must consider these times, too. Hopefully, you will never have to face them. However, it is likely you will someday. Accidents and illness and the unexpected affect all ages. Here are some guidelines if such times come your way:

• Live every day fully! Celebrate each student for who she or he is, not just what is accomplished.
• Learn to flex your plan when necessary. I love watching palm trees in the wind. Anchored to the ground but resilient because they know how to flex and bend when the gales come.
• Pre-think how you would handle an unexpected crisis. Perhaps you should set aside some books that focus on situations that could happen.
• Maintain close communication with your parents and colleagues; because of your authentic character, you might be the one they come to for help.

You can think of more, I’m sure. Teaching with Aloha has come to mean something a little deeper today. It’s also teaching with a “good-by” in mind.

Have you tried the Daily 5 Minutes?

The Daily 5 Minutes is a new conversation you give to someone else as a gift – a listening gift from you. When you offer to “Take 5” with someone, and they’ve been let in on what that D5M invitation means, you are saying,

“For the next 5 minutes I am here to do absolutely nothing but listen to you, and respond to you if you would like me to. Within the next 5 minutes, there will be nothing in this world more important than my listening to whatever you might have on your mind: I want to hear from you, and I want to know more about what you are thinking about, wondering about, and feeling.”

It’s a beautiful thing.

The Daily 5 Minutes originated in my workplace laboratory nearly two decades ago, and since then it has proven to be wonderfully adaptable in a variety of different settings – including your school classrooms.

I’ll bet you can imagine why teachers love it so much.

For you to be a listener, someone else has to do the talking.

When you introduce the Daily 5 Minutes practice to your students, they have a role to play as the receivers of your gift: They have to agree to do the talking. I know how difficult that can be at times, getting them to do so. However once they get started with the D5M, they warm up to talking to you in an amazing way, for a circle of comfort is created between you.

If this is the first you have heard of the Daily 5 Minutes, take a look at this article I just posted on Talking Story earlier today: 5 Minutes/ 3 Values/ 9 MWA Questions Redux

Here is an excerpt on the “3 Values” part of it:

In the classes we personally present at Say Leadership Coaching, we teach the D5M in connection with three values, Ha‘aha‘a, Kākou and ‘Ike loa;

Ha‘aha‘a is the value of humility and thus it helps us to be open to what we can receive from others, being willing to have them connect with us, and affect us in a transformational way. Being humble is never lowly; it is accepting others from a place of strength and confidence in one’s self-esteem.

“Humble managers see with their ears.” Learn more about D5M-ing your Decisions: See with your ears. We managers don’t have all the answers; we find them. We also find stories.

Kākou is the value of inclusiveness and it promotes the “language of we.” Thus, we think of Kākou as the value of effective communication. When communication is Kākou, it connects everyone in an organization, so everyone is “in the know.” Think about it: Even Following is NOT a Passive Activity

‘Ike loa is the value of learning and knowledge, and in using the Daily 5 Minutes, you will get to know your staff exceptionally well while simultaneously improving both your listening skills and your relationship with them. You will discover the knowledge which resides in other people, and believe me, We Learn Best from Other People.

At the end of the article, you will see this announcement, and it may be something you decide to take advantage of as well: Do not delay, for the it is a free alpha and the registration will close promptly at midnight November 2nd in your timezone:
Ready, set, alpha! — Find out more about how the D5M habit-builder alpha works
Another Step Forward | Ruzuku is here. — Learn about Ruzuku (my alpha partner) and see some screen shots

Everything around us works against reordering and simplifying. Advertisements have one goal – to make us discontent, dissatisfied with who we are and what we have. Enough is never enough! This attitude can creep into our teaching and to students through their teachers.

Life’s Greatest Stresses (1990’s)

1. Crowds
2. Noise
3. Pace of Life

According to Time Magazine, these were the top three stressors in the 1990’s. When the article was written, my family and I lived in Asia, the center of these stressors! As the culture, so the classroom. It was exciting, fast paced – yes. But, there was an unhealthy side as well. Students did not really have time to learn nor did teachers have enough time to teach. Curriculum demands increased, so the pace did as well. Looking back I can see many opportunities I missed because I had not decided to reorder the classroom by simplifying.

Today, about 5% to 7% of adults in the U.S. are pursuing some form of voluntary simplicity, according to Gerald Celente, director of the Trends Research Institute in New York. Of course, this means that 95-97% are not doing anything about simplifying. So, what do people do to deal with stress?

• 82 percent, turn on the television, listen to music or read.
• Family and friends serve as a solid support for 71 percent of those polled.
• Prayer or meditation is a recourse for 62 percent
• Exercise sustains 55 percent

I have witnessed a growing stress among students, elementary and secondary, teachers and administrators. This concern has made me consider why reordering through simplifying is so difficult. Two possibilities are:

• Busyness: we are very unsettled if we are not busy. Stillness, reflection, quiet times, are luxuries in many of today’s classrooms.
• Comparing: consuming focus is others and ourselves. We are easily influenced by how others are doing or how we are lagging behind.

Having taken steps to simplify…

I realize it is a difficult journey, indeed. However, I have learned at least two lessons:

• No one complicates my life but me.
• Busyness might be nothing more than an anesthetic for an empty life.

Having said all this, I challenge you to review your routines. Do they flow, integrate, inspire, refresh and engage your students? Review your lesson plans – are they simple or complicated? Invite a colleague to observe how you give directions. Do you confuse or clarify?

What is at stake?

If a classroom is a stressful, fast-paced environment, which has no let-up or relief, I believe there will be a negative impact on the teacher and students. Being threatened are:

• Restful, renewing learning environment
• Ability to reflect and give thoughtful attention to work

Perhaps we will need to focus on this again. But, for now, take sufficient time to:

• reflect on your personal life
• evaluate your professional life
• evaluate your routines

I can hear some saying, “I don’t have time for this!” Hmm…point made!

Aloha, it’s Rosa. I am writing for Teaching with Aloha today, to ask you to enroll in a critically important goal with me.

I ask you to get involved in whatever way you can within your own circle of influence, even if that ‘circle’ is as small and tight as the realistic coaching conversation between you as teacher and one of your students. I’ve been talking to many of them, and they are feeling very alone. Many are not turning to their parents for help, for they are watching them struggle in battles of their own.

Our Common Goal: Successfully Transition Students from School to Work

Your circle of influence is actually much bigger than you may think.

We, in both education and business, must forge a better partnership in aggressively achieving our common goal. We must join forces so we in business can better welcome the students you graduate, effectively integrating them into our working communities quickly and smoothly.

This transition, from a place of early learning to a place of Ho‘ohana at work, does not happen as successfully as we need it to happen. If we use present U.S. employment numbers as a measurement, it does not happen for nearly half of those who graduate:

“46% of those aged 16 – 24 in the U.S. population do not have jobs – this is their lowest level of employment since records were kept in 1948.”
—from BusinessWeek, The Lost Generation by Peter Coy

This statistic is unacceptable, and even more alarming? Many anticipate it will get worse.

The youngest members of our workforce are struggling to belong. Those of you on college campuses everywhere are feeling the over-crowding as students of all ages retreat back into school: Students once eager to graduate now parlay their available finances (and bulging student loans) into the educational dabbling that is not passionate learning, but a purposeful delay tactic:

“My daughter is in a great college and is scared to death of graduating because she knows there’s not really a future for her even with a degree.” —Shannon Esposito

“I have a cousin who is becoming what I call a professional student. He keeps switching majors because he is terrified of graduating.” —Chris Chartrand

Here is half of a fictional account I wrote for Talking Story this past Friday: It was a juxtaposition between someone with a healthy Sense of Workplace (what I have been calling the healthy sense of place defined by Ho‘ohana work) and this young man. Sadly, I keep hearing that this is not fiction at all…

The time ticked as 11:03am at the bottom corner of his computer screen.

That maddening restlessness moved him to slam his laptop shut to hibernate – again. He didn’t even bother closing any of the tabs, not caring if the machine struggled to understand the abrupt interruption or not.

What was the use of having the newest and most expensive mac Apple offered when it was so pathetically poor at holding his attention? He’d begged for it as the only graduation gift he wanted. What a waste of money. What a wasted wish.

It was too early for lunch, so that wasn’t his urge; he felt a far different hunger. Still, he walked to his fridge and grabbed a beer; it would dull this confusing boredom as it always had the past few months. He wondered how much longer it would work, for he couldn’t afford the hard stuff. Just as well. Whatever.

Summer had become autumn. It was beautiful outside, with the leaves turning color and a new crispness charging the air and quickening the pulse. His shades were drawn though, and he didn’t notice any of it. Didn’t see it, didn’t feel it. Not anymore.

Worse than the boredom, the nagging, brutal guilt suffocated much of whatever else he’d once felt. It consumed him and all his attentions nowadays; he just couldn’t concentrate on anything else. He was supposed to be an adult now. He was supposed to go to work every day, listen to some boss, pay taxes, contribute to society and all that crap. A college degree, graduating summa cum laude no less, hadn’t helped him one damn bit; he had done all he could to find a job – any job – and there was nothing. Nothing.

Pride wasn’t in his way – that feeling went away a long time ago and he’d gladly flip burgers, haul trash, anything; the lack of possibility was the problem. If it was still there, he no longer could see it. He could barely force himself to get out and keep looking. This morning was one he hadn’t, and he was getting alarmingly close to stopping altogether.

You play by the rules, get good grades, stay out of trouble and do everything your parents and teachers tell you to do, then the economy tanks, you can’t catch any break at all much less a decent one, and life sucks.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

This is what Peter Coy called the “scarring of a generation” in that BusinessWeek feature:

“The freshness and vitality young people bring to the workplace is missing. Tomorrow’s would-be star employees are on the sidelines, deprived of experience and losing motivation… Studies suggest that an extended period of youthful joblessness can significantly depress lifetime income as people get stuck in jobs that are beneath their capabilities, or come to be seen by employers as damaged goods.”
—The Lost Generation —The continuing job crisis is hitting young people especially hard—damaging both their future and the economy

I want a happier ending for this story. I know you do too.

I have described one such better scenario in the rest of this story if you care to read it: Hibernation 2009 on Talking Story, and there are many more possibilities. All we have to do is proactively create them.

Last week, I wrote Share your Sense of [Work] Place as my Call to Action for managers everywhere, and I suggested several ideas they can get started with. I published it on Talking Story, on Say “Alaka‘i” at The Honolulu Advertiser (where Dean weighed in with some thoughts), for our Managing with Aloha group on LinkedIn, and I continue to tweet and talk about it to any/all who will listen. I am not going to stop. I fully intend to work this into my presentations to come as I continue to bring the Managing with Aloha mission to managers and leaders poised for action.

This, is your Call to Action. What ideas can we in the Teaching with Aloha community initiate and make happen?

What can you do?

1. To start, email this page to every teacher and every business person you know. Stumble it, Digg it, Tweet it… do whatever you can to share it, enrolling others in our common goal.

2. Take the links I have offered within this posting, and get familiar with this crisis – for that is what it is – and get emotional about it, for it affects you directly. Talk to others affected (it will not be hard to find them) and put the faces of your community on this issue.

3. Help us get a conversation going right here: What ideas can we talk about, and share with each other?

4. Start a conversation in your own circle of influence, and within your other tribes, and make this goal-setting, and goal-working actively happen in your community wherever it may be. Be a leader: Activate your own team.

5. Offer your mentorship to students who should be poised to enter the workforce (refer to Dean’s mentoring series): They often have a difficult time speaking to their parents about this, retreating from them instead, for like the young man in my story, they feel they should be on their own now.

6. Partner with the business people in your community. Teach them about the Sense of Workplace concept. Work together.

7. Let Dean and I know how else we can help.

Mahalo nui loa. Thank you for reading, and for getting involved. I know we can affect the change we need to see happen.

We Ho‘ohana together, Kākou.
With much aloha,
Rosa

Workplace Aloha Coach and Author Rosa Say

Photo Credit: Working Late on Flickr by Thomas Rockstar

Courtesy: Rosa Say

It has come to my mind today that teaching students is all about love. Granted, it is not always easy to love students or parents or colleagues. But, if you desire for your teaching to be transformational, it must be grounded on love.

Six simple observations about love…

1. Love is not easy or convenient. In fact, when a student is most difficult or a parent is caustic, love is needed then more than other times. And, more than that, it is likely that such love will be needed at an inconvenient time.
2. Love is costly. I don’t mean having a treasure chest of toys and trinkets to give to children who earn them. I am thinking of a love that might humble you. It might mean reaching down and caring for a child who has old, dirty clothes. It might mean crossing a cultural barrier to visit parents.
3. Love rises from the heart. This is the only real love – that which is from the heart. You will probably find that your desire to love your students is greater than your ability to show it. This is wonderful! A heart-based love is not cautious but remains wise.
4. Love initiates. It does not wait for love to come from another. When love is withheld, it might mean that a child does not know how to love. It’s amazing what children face today! Don’t wait for them to love you – initiate love. And, when they love you, reciprocate it. Either way, love is active!
5. Love is sacrificial. Not easy, inconvenient, costly…all these point to the sacrificial nature of true love. An aloha heart is a sacrificial heart!
6. Love is life giving. True loves gives from within and inspires those who receive it. Give your life and you will find that what you receive is a deeper and broader love for others.

Do your students know you love them?

Do your parents know you love them?

Do your colleagues know you love them?